no more, i worry

this sucks...need i say more?

no more, i worry

to be overly-conscious of 

 just how often my eyes blink

       is no safety, for sure

-i've sat, unaware of that for years-

i laughed

  confidently abstract

and at nothing in particular

i regularly split

  sentences into three or more parts

and embellish the syntax for security

-i lie to myself-

and it only 

   keeps a few cents in my pocket--

doesn't hand me someone else's wallet

the results make decisions for me but 

  can't make my smile fit the 

difference i have to pay or the look on my face

and it's shameful how i trace it over

       so many dead leaves when

most times

    there's nothing worth writing about--

i wait            i pretend to sketch the landscape

   

        i fake a phone call or faint

but they're all the same: they all stagnate in vacancy

-if i whispered the word "scream"

     it wouldn't save any of us

it wouldn't spare the ground from our shadows

   

and it wouldn't spare me from the 

    sun always hurting my eyes